the secret behind horror

When it comes to horror it's not the makeup or the setting or the characters, though they are obviously part of it, no the secret of horror is the sound. sound plays a key role in horror movies it can turn a rather subtle scene of a man walking down a street into into a tense fearful situation. Of course the best way to use sound in horror is to use music. Melodies that seem out of place work the best. An example of this would be a scene of a horrific murder being accompanied with a upbeat jazz orchestra, this makes the scene even creepier then it all ready is by taking something like gore and handling it very subtly. A real world example of this could be taken from video game trailers like Fallout 3 which took a catchy 40's tune and combined it with a ravaged washington DC.

My opinion on Michael Cera

Now I'm going to try to be mature, but it might be a little hard. FUUUUUUUUCK! this guy he is the worst actor I have ever seen. In the many many movies he as been in recently he has failed terribly. The reason for this is he is the same person in every movie, that being an emotionless whiny loser, so I must assume that he doesn't act at all. When he's saying his line in movies it's less of acting and more of reading from a piece of paper. Now he was okay in Superbad mainly because he wasn't the central character and had many competent actors to support him. Sadly he doesn't always get lucky, sometimes he is the main character. In his most recent movie youth in revolt for example he ruined what could of been a great movie. The premise of the movie was interesting a boy developes a rebellious personality to cope with a stressful life, however this failed because even when acting as the split personality he is the same person just with different clothes and a mustache. The jokes would of been funny as well if they were being dealt out by a funny person, but no we get Michael Cera. Of course I guess I can't blame all the failure of this movie on him, after all a few of his costars helped. These being the love interest and the villain, they all played the same too smart, indifferent to every thing around them teenagers just like Cera. What does this mean? his disease is spreading.

The apple store

Recently I had to take my computer to the apple store to repair it, and I realized just how much I hate that store. I entered the store and looked around, spotless hardwood floors and silver walls, organized displays, and creepy smiling zealots in blue shirts with "I sold my soul to the devil " printed on the front. I approached the help counter and was greeted by one of the "genius team" who with some reluctance agreed to help me. As I explained my problem to the "genius" he gave me this look like he was better then me. I thought How is this possible he's working in a motherfucking electronics store serving people who are rich enough to afford all the latest apple crap. But it doesn't matter because that trip gave me the greatest Idea. I plan to make a T shirt that says "the apple store, the place where god would work if he had no soul," it will sell millions.

My opinion on pokemon. no I am not a pedophile or 8

Pokemon is a well known video series about a bunch of ten year olds running around and catching animals and fighting with other ten year olds for money and glory. Now the Japanese would want you to think it's just a harmless game for 8 year olds, but thats a lie. think about it catching innocent creatures and forcing them to throw fireballs at each other for money this isn't fucking harmless fun this is some crazy shit. And thats not all what about professor insert tree name here, not only is his name some falic reference, but he forces ten year olds to compile data on dangerous animals, I mean my god has Japan ever heard of child labor laws, the industrial revolution was a good 150 years ago for gods sake. So parents do you really want your kids to catch them all, because that could mean anything. Let me ask you Do you want your kids to catch syphilis I here it evolves into mental deterioration, and at level 50 it evolves into a slow and painful death, yay! Bottom line 65 years ago the japanese were Nazis and thus can't be trusted.(note I have no ill will towards the Japanese)

BAZZAMIN!

BAZZAMIN! is an adjective meaning really fucking cool, an example of this would be "That Battle to the death between those two naked lesbian lovers was really BAZZAMIN!" BAZZAMIN! was said to be first quoted by two warlock linguist who were experimenting with their magic to create the greatest word in the english language. Now you may be wondering "hey if it's such a great word why have I never heard of it," well thats simple the warlocks realized the word was so powerful it would eventually try to take over the planet, and enslave humanity, so they locked it away in a magic box. You may also be wondering "how can a word take over the world if it has no physical form," well my answer to that is, your wrong and i'm right, so shut up. So anyway after thousands of years of imprisonment I found the box, and rescued it from somewhere in North Korea, (damn commies.) Now that I have reclaimed it however you should be sure to do the fallowing things when using this word.

1: Always say it in loud happy tone.
2: Always write it out in capitols
3: When writing it out always remember to put a ! at the end

If you fail to do any of these this word will literally punch you in the face and rape your dog.

Peta

Their is nothing I hate more than animal activist I will eat and torture whatever and who ever I want I don't need a bunch of naked models to tell me otherwise. Thats something else that annoys me how dare they use woman to get their point across their stealing their ideas from any other form of advertising in existence , and that just makes me angry. You know there might of been a time when I would of agreed with Peta, however one night when I was driving home I saw a billboard that changed my life. It said "Ever have leprosy, thanks to animal testing you don't have to." I thought what a great way to justify experimenting on poor woodland creatures screw Peta, people for the ethical treatment of animals my ass more like the people for the over protection of weak useless animals. This brings me to another point if I ever get on deathrow my final meal will be poached bald eagle eggs with a side of polar bear testicles.

The greatest country in the world

What's the greatest country in the world? well thats simple It's the USA of course or as some cultures like to call it "the greatest country in the world." How did we do this you ask well thats simple first we became the greatest country in North America, which was easy because we only had to compete with Canada and mexico, and since Canada has french people and mexico is.......not America we won easily. Now once we had beaten out Frenchland and NUSA. we moved on to the bigger picture. Now we had to compete with countries like Ireland, britain, germany, Russia, and china. Now it was a close call, but we won for the fallowing reasons. Too small, we kicked their ass over 200 years ago, they were nazi's, and they picked the wrong kind of government. Now if you want to contradict me you can, but I warn you you are wrong.

The 1950's

There is nothing more terrifying then the 1950's I mean after all this was the time we first made hostile conflict with korea and first faced the fear of Nuclear weapons of course more then that this was the first time the "model family" was introduced. You know what I mean two parents two children both of them of the opposite sex. You have Frank the the pipe smoking robe wearing brown/black haired father, Betty the blonde haired creepy smile having rolling pin wielding wife, and lets not forget Sally and Jimmy the the overly optamistic kiddos who don't know any better so thats why they dug up old lady Gertrudes's rose bushes. You see their just too perfect, so you try to dig up the truth about them. You find Frank is a serial murderer/rapist/cannibal, Betty is a robot, and Sally and Jimmy are both hell spawns. Now your in deep shit because they won't stop until they have found and killed you, and thats when you find out you have fallen into the twilight zone, DAMN YOU ROB SERLING!

Mag vs. Battle Field Bad Company demo

you know what's sad when a free demo proves more entertaining then a 60 dollar incredibly hyped game. MAG (massively atrocious game) promised gigantic epic battles, but ultimately turned out to be an average PS3 shooter. I call it a PS3 shooter not because it is exclusive to the PS3, but because it reminds me to much of another similar game resistance two another underwhelming game. They both have boring levels, guns, and average graphics. Now granted I have not actually entered a 256 man battle yet so maybe that ONE game mode could change my entire opinion, but when I look at it the fact that I have not been aloud to play that mode is what annoys me the most. For you see you have to level up to access new game modes which would be okay if they were fun, but sadly they are not, so spending time leveling up is less of a fun diversion and more of a chore. Now the BFBC 2 demo by comparison is great it gives me a LARGE map something MAG had also failed to grasp, Vehicles another thing MAG didn't seem to think of (granted I did see a tank in one game mode), and a destructible enviroment, I can not penalize MAG for excluding that, but it still would of been a good descision on their part. And this was only a demo with one level, and you know I was playing a game in MAG with around 100 people and I felt the mere 60 in BFBC. were more present and noticeable. Still I have only played so much of MAG, so I can not really say it's that bad, although on the other hand books and movies can get better, but video games should be entertaining from the very start especially an online exclusive first person shooter. So you know what fuck MAG.

The greatest mythical creature of all

what's the greatest mythical creature of all you ask well thats simple LEPRECHAUNS! Nothing is quite as cool as the leprechaun. They grant wishes, mess with people, are assoaciated with the greatest country in the world(next to america), and they have pots of gold. Now if you could choose between the hydra or the leprechaun, would you choose the one that bite your head of or the one that would get drunk with you, now you see point , and if you still don't go suck on a lemon you debauch de mere.

what's the big deal about the french?

Why does everybody make a big deal about the french it just doesn't make any sense to me. I don't care if they created democracy they still smell like wine and cigarettes. I could also care less about the statue of liberty as far as I'm concerned it's just a giant rock they dropped into the new york harbor. I mean if any other country used are waters as a place to drop their trash we would be all of over them, but not france their special. I mean we even teach french along with important languages like spanish. I don't care if it's the language of love or the diplomatic language it nothing compared to the great english language, take that debuache de mere's. One could say their special because of Paris the city of lights, fashion, and food. Of course if you asked me I would say they stole that stuff from hanukkah, america, and america.

Pokemon snap

Now before I continue do you own an Nintendo 64? if not get one off Ebay. moving on pokemon snap is an old pokemon rail shooter for the N64. Of course it's not a rail shooter in the sense that you blow pokemon apart with assault rifles while constantly moving down a linear path(as awesome as that would be.) No pokemon snap is a game in which you take pictures of various pokemon(80 to be exact) in their natural enviroment. Now I know that sounds boring, but you can also have some fun with the pokemon. You are given many different devices such as flutes, apples, and gas balls. You can use all of these to make the pokemon evolve or perform tricks or stunts. Examples of this would be hitting a charmelion into a pit of lava transforming it into a charzard or using apples to lure a pikachu onto a surfboard. These are not only fun and interesting to watch, but are necessary to get higher scores on the pictures you take. The story is professor Oak has recruited you to study the pokemon on a remote island. Your studies will take you through seven different courses each with different pokemon. Now I know it still sounds boring, but it's really a game you have to play to understand why it's so great, and you could probally buy pokemon snap and an N64 at a flea market for under 50 dollars so I say you get it.

12 angry men

12 angry men is a 1957 film about 12 jurers and their arguments over wether a boy had really killed his father. While all of the other jurers are convinced the boy is guilty the 11th jurer is not convinced and attempts to change the minds of his fellow jurers before they sentence the boy to death. Its a great story that emphasizes the importance of patience and research when making an important descisions. Though what I find the most appealing is the setting. The entire story takes place in one room, this makes the plot very easy to fallow thus it can really suck you in. The actors are also very endearing and believable, especially the lead Henry Fonda who's determination and cool attitude win the respect of his peers as well as the hearts of his viewers(not gay).

Brave New World

Brave New World is a science fiction novel by English writer Aldous Huxley. It revolves around A utopian future where after a terrible war a fearful humanity carefully controls society and makes sure it does not repeat its mistake. Anything that could threaten stability has been abolished such as religion, families, and intimate relationships. The story fallows a man named Bernard Marx an upper class citizen of London who despite his position in the world feels out of place and constantly questions society and its choices. The book is truly a great way to look at perfection and say "is it really worth it".

Mass Effect

Now if you have not heard of this game I'll give you the run down. Mass Effect is an rpg that takes place in space. It centers around commander Shepard, and his or hers mission to take down a rouge agent of the galactic council before he can end all sentient life in the universe. Now this games main selling point is its unique dialouge system whick allows for many different outcomes in a conversation, which you will be having a lot of.

This combined with a amazing plot and massive setting make this game an epic experience. Sadly while the story is top notch the actual gameplay isn't exactly perfect. the game

is a third person shooter so you spend most of your time in cover or should I say all of your time in cover if you even think about leaving your cover enemies will quickly gun you down leaving you to reload your last save. The game also gives you various powers such as telekenesis and paralysis. These are hard to use and have a tendency to fail(unless the computers are using them.) The exploration the game promises is also a dud. All the planets you visit are pretty much the same, your either an the desert, in a snowstorm, or in a volcano. But still despite all of that I still feel the story is worth the purchase, however if you don't care for such things I feel you should stay away from it.

introduction

I have established this blog, (god I hate that word) as a means to voice my opinion on things that interest me namely, games, movies, and great piles of awesome(other things.)