the secret behind horror

When it comes to horror it's not the makeup or the setting or the characters, though they are obviously part of it, no the secret of horror is the sound. sound plays a key role in horror movies it can turn a rather subtle scene of a man walking down a street into into a tense fearful situation. Of course the best way to use sound in horror is to use music. Melodies that seem out of place work the best. An example of this would be a scene of a horrific murder being accompanied with a upbeat jazz orchestra, this makes the scene even creepier then it all ready is by taking something like gore and handling it very subtly. A real world example of this could be taken from video game trailers like Fallout 3 which took a catchy 40's tune and combined it with a ravaged washington DC.

My opinion on Michael Cera

Now I'm going to try to be mature, but it might be a little hard. FUUUUUUUUCK! this guy he is the worst actor I have ever seen. In the many many movies he as been in recently he has failed terribly. The reason for this is he is the same person in every movie, that being an emotionless whiny loser, so I must assume that he doesn't act at all. When he's saying his line in movies it's less of acting and more of reading from a piece of paper. Now he was okay in Superbad mainly because he wasn't the central character and had many competent actors to support him. Sadly he doesn't always get lucky, sometimes he is the main character. In his most recent movie youth in revolt for example he ruined what could of been a great movie. The premise of the movie was interesting a boy developes a rebellious personality to cope with a stressful life, however this failed because even when acting as the split personality he is the same person just with different clothes and a mustache. The jokes would of been funny as well if they were being dealt out by a funny person, but no we get Michael Cera. Of course I guess I can't blame all the failure of this movie on him, after all a few of his costars helped. These being the love interest and the villain, they all played the same too smart, indifferent to every thing around them teenagers just like Cera. What does this mean? his disease is spreading.

The apple store

Recently I had to take my computer to the apple store to repair it, and I realized just how much I hate that store. I entered the store and looked around, spotless hardwood floors and silver walls, organized displays, and creepy smiling zealots in blue shirts with "I sold my soul to the devil " printed on the front. I approached the help counter and was greeted by one of the "genius team" who with some reluctance agreed to help me. As I explained my problem to the "genius" he gave me this look like he was better then me. I thought How is this possible he's working in a motherfucking electronics store serving people who are rich enough to afford all the latest apple crap. But it doesn't matter because that trip gave me the greatest Idea. I plan to make a T shirt that says "the apple store, the place where god would work if he had no soul," it will sell millions.

My opinion on pokemon. no I am not a pedophile or 8

Pokemon is a well known video series about a bunch of ten year olds running around and catching animals and fighting with other ten year olds for money and glory. Now the Japanese would want you to think it's just a harmless game for 8 year olds, but thats a lie. think about it catching innocent creatures and forcing them to throw fireballs at each other for money this isn't fucking harmless fun this is some crazy shit. And thats not all what about professor insert tree name here, not only is his name some falic reference, but he forces ten year olds to compile data on dangerous animals, I mean my god has Japan ever heard of child labor laws, the industrial revolution was a good 150 years ago for gods sake. So parents do you really want your kids to catch them all, because that could mean anything. Let me ask you Do you want your kids to catch syphilis I here it evolves into mental deterioration, and at level 50 it evolves into a slow and painful death, yay! Bottom line 65 years ago the japanese were Nazis and thus can't be trusted.(note I have no ill will towards the Japanese)

BAZZAMIN!

BAZZAMIN! is an adjective meaning really fucking cool, an example of this would be "That Battle to the death between those two naked lesbian lovers was really BAZZAMIN!" BAZZAMIN! was said to be first quoted by two warlock linguist who were experimenting with their magic to create the greatest word in the english language. Now you may be wondering "hey if it's such a great word why have I never heard of it," well thats simple the warlocks realized the word was so powerful it would eventually try to take over the planet, and enslave humanity, so they locked it away in a magic box. You may also be wondering "how can a word take over the world if it has no physical form," well my answer to that is, your wrong and i'm right, so shut up. So anyway after thousands of years of imprisonment I found the box, and rescued it from somewhere in North Korea, (damn commies.) Now that I have reclaimed it however you should be sure to do the fallowing things when using this word.

1: Always say it in loud happy tone.
2: Always write it out in capitols
3: When writing it out always remember to put a ! at the end

If you fail to do any of these this word will literally punch you in the face and rape your dog.

Peta

Their is nothing I hate more than animal activist I will eat and torture whatever and who ever I want I don't need a bunch of naked models to tell me otherwise. Thats something else that annoys me how dare they use woman to get their point across their stealing their ideas from any other form of advertising in existence , and that just makes me angry. You know there might of been a time when I would of agreed with Peta, however one night when I was driving home I saw a billboard that changed my life. It said "Ever have leprosy, thanks to animal testing you don't have to." I thought what a great way to justify experimenting on poor woodland creatures screw Peta, people for the ethical treatment of animals my ass more like the people for the over protection of weak useless animals. This brings me to another point if I ever get on deathrow my final meal will be poached bald eagle eggs with a side of polar bear testicles.

The greatest country in the world

What's the greatest country in the world? well thats simple It's the USA of course or as some cultures like to call it "the greatest country in the world." How did we do this you ask well thats simple first we became the greatest country in North America, which was easy because we only had to compete with Canada and mexico, and since Canada has french people and mexico is.......not America we won easily. Now once we had beaten out Frenchland and NUSA. we moved on to the bigger picture. Now we had to compete with countries like Ireland, britain, germany, Russia, and china. Now it was a close call, but we won for the fallowing reasons. Too small, we kicked their ass over 200 years ago, they were nazi's, and they picked the wrong kind of government. Now if you want to contradict me you can, but I warn you you are wrong.